Some days it's best to stay in bed. Today was one of those days. Those who know me understand that I become fully awake around 8 p.m. at night which leads to late nights and wrecked mornings. So my goal? I decided to try to break my late night, late morning routine by getting up early. My reasoning...I'll be so tired by 11 p.m. that I'll go to sleep early and wake up early! Early to me (especially after going to bed at 1:30 a.m.) is 8:30 a.m. So at 8:30 a.m. the alarm goes off and I get up. Success! I am alive and awake. It's going to be a great day!!!!
I immediately sit down at the computer and start working...in my pajamas. Ah the luxury of working from home! The next thing you know I'm juggling work (the paying kind), with planning a major event at our house, struggling to figure out how to get the house clean for that major event and do some manual labor at the house. Suddenly I'm walking around the house (still in my PJs!) taking pics of the house to message them to a window cleaner so I can get a quote on cleaning the windows. I'm sure everyone driving by on S 2000 W Street did a double take of the red head in her floral pajamas at 11:00 a.m. in the morning.
Whoa! What time is it? 11 a.m.?????? I have an appointment in Jackson at 2 p.m., a conference call at 1 p.m. and it's going to take me an hour to travel over the mountain pass and find a quiet place where I can call in. I need to be on the road at the latest 12 noon. Time to get cracking!!!
I run the bath water and realize I haven't fed the dogs. Run to the garage, fill up the dog bowls with food and water and run back to the bath. I forgot to turn on the cold water and the bath is HOT, HOT, HOT! Dang it. More water, less heat. My stress is mounting.
I glance down and look at my feet. I recently had a pedicure and the sweet Asian man painted a horrible blue and silver design on my big toes which I tried to cover up with more red nail polish. It looks bad and I'm about to go to my ortho doctor for a knee check. He's going to see my toes! Quick, get the nail polish remover out and redo the big toes. Oh heck! Red nail polish bleeds all over my big toe! Jump in the bath. I have 30 minutes to go.
Jump out of the bath, change clothes, put on a new top. I look down and gasp. The top is gaping open and I'm looking a bit cheeky with so much exposed. Quick! Find a safety pin! But where? Rummaged around and found a HUGE safety pin then spent about 10 minutes trying to discretely pin my top closed. Man! That looks bad but better than over exposure. Check the mirror! Wrong bra now! Straps are showing. Disrobe, change bras, get dressed again.
Check the clock...no time to spare....I gotta go. Slip on my sandals! Look down, nine painted toes, one glaringly unpainted toe. I'll paint it right before I get in the car. I'm starving. Grab a meal bar and a diet coke and take off dodging dogs who desperately want to go with me, no matter where I go. I'll be back I call out! I promise!
I'm driving up the mountain pass and look down! I still haven't painted that toe nail. I check the rear view mirror and notice the BIGGEST miller fluttering in the back window. Oh oh! That moth is going to wind up fluttering around my head which is not going to be pretty. I pull over, open the back door and free the MONSTROUS moth. Wait! I'm stopped. I'll paint my toe nail. I pull out red polish and a big glob drops on my big unpainted toe! CRAPPOLA! I use my finger nail to remove it and now not ONLY do I have a messy red toe but I have red nail polish all over my finger! WHAT TO DO. WHAT TO DO. WHAT TO DO? I'll stop and grab some nail polish and take care of it before my appointment.
I make it over to Jackson and forget to turn into Albertson's grocery. Oh! There's the natural foods grocery. I can get nail remover there. I have 5 extra minutes. Holy cow? They only carry natural organic nail polish and it's $11????? SERIOUSLY??? I'm stuck so I buy THE most expensive nail polish remover ever. Sigh! That will teach me to be vain. I get in the car, scrub my toe and my fingers and get most of the red off....I'm halfway presentable now but $11 poorer.
I drive down the main drag in Jackson dodging the tourists and pull into the doctor's parking lot. SUCCESS! My toe is painted, my finger is clean, I have my conference notes, I EVEN have the call-in conference number, I'm alive and no tourists have died in the process.
Oh, and the worst thing? After all that..I didn't took my sandals off during my doctor's appointment and the doc never even saw my toes. THAT WILL TEACH ME!
No comments:
Post a Comment