Feeling Groovy!

Seven months have flown by since my first hormone pellet treatment in March. For those waiting for the verdict from my experience, I am here to tell you that it has been a true blessing. For the first time in so long a time that I can't truly remember, I feel great. I have energy, my memory is back and I feel happy. Truly happy! Sure, I still have really sad moments in those rare times when something bad happens but all in all, I am enjoying life.

It didn't happen over night and there were moments I wondered if it was going to make a difference but for me, it's been the best thing I've done for myself in a long while. It took this entire time to feel this great. I experienced highs and then an extreme low when I didn't get in for my second pellet treatment but once I did, well, watch out world. I am back!

What I've learned from sharing my experience with my friends is that I now know that I am not alone. In fact there are way too many women feeling bad because of the lack of hormones. For all of those who are feeling not themselves, out of whack or wondering whether they are having early onset dementia (like I was!) that you should seek out help.

My doc and her assistant will be coming to the Wyoming Women's Expo. Please stop by her booth and make sure you ask some questions. Or go online and research BioTE pellet treatments. Find a doctor near you and take back your life like I did!

Now that saying...."Grow old with me, the best is yet to come" lifts me up as it should. I couldn't say that seven months ago!

The Road Not Traveled...

Attending your high school reunion is like taking a step back in time. You walk through the doors and the pit that developed in your stomach while in high school suddenly reappears. You know that pit, right? It's called insecurity and it begins and festers during high school for some reason. We were all feeling it as we entered into the reunion, whether we admit it or not.

For some women, they go to such an event to take stock of how well they've aged. For others, it's to see old friends and reconnect. For me, it was more curiosity than anything else. Where are my friends now? Are they stumbling through the aging process like me or have they found the fountain of youth? Where do they live? What have they done with their lives? Would we still have things in common? Was the cheerleader still cute and just exactly why was I so intimidated by her? Would I recognize anyone or would they recognize me? Admittedly I think the latter was more important to me. Had I aged so much that people wouldn't recognize me? I hoped not.

It was great seeing everyone. But it left me thinking how shallow we were in our youth. For instance, I had no idea one of my good friends' dad was in the CIA. I had no clue that another girl's mom had left her family. Behind the masks we all put on in school, what exactly was everyone going though and how was it affecting them?

After the revelry of the reunion, I had time to reflect in the quiet of the borrowed bedroom of which I was staying. What if I had followed my friends to the East Coast after college? I had plenty of opportunity but I hadn't really been that interested in politics which predominated the DC area. There seemed to be so many roads open to me at that time of my life that left me wondering .... what if?

I remember the terrible fight I had with my mom over where to go to college. I wanted to go somewhere else other than Texas but we were Texas residents and it was either a Texas university or go the University of Maryland over the base's commissary. I chose Texas. They wanted UM. I won.  

Once I graduated from Tech, my parents wanted me to stay in Dallas. My mom wanted to send me to secretarial school. (Are you kidding me??? I have a degree!) My dad's idea was for me to enlist in the Air Force. What if I HAD joined the Air Force??? I know I would have become a writer no matter where I landed but could I have gone to different countries and been a true reporter? I was offered a job in public relations at a hospital in Dallas. Would that have been the start of me becoming a powerful PR exec? 

Instead I chose to follow my college friends and take the first job that I landed in Houston. From there, I scraped out a living, met some really cool people, had some great loves, made many mistakes but all in all,  lived a truly wonderful life.  

I can't even begin to think about the roads not traveled. I guess the most important thing I learned out of this reunion is that my life is blessed with a wonderful husband, three wonderful boys that while are not mine biologically, they own my heart; a great daughter-in-law and two wonderful granddaughters; a fairly good reputation that has earned me my own business and a myriad of wonderful friends that live all across the world.

I guess after all, I took the right roads...

Confessions of an Older Woman

I recently went to see Menopause the Musical. When everyone else was laughing, I was feeling slightly validated inside. It would have been so much funnier to me if it weren't soooo true. It just hit too close to home for me to laugh alongside everyone else. The only salvation was that my husband went with me. I think he learned that he wasn't alone in dealing with a dragging wife.

I can't tell you exactly when everything started changing for me. It wasn't sudden but a slow digression of mood, energy level and emotional stability. The lows became lower and my energy level just started diving. I stopped working out because it was all I could do to take care of the house, my husband, my job and my kids.

I did try to take care of myself. I went to the doctors who prescribed depression medication. I told my OB Gyn who prescribed a mild dose of hormones. I read up and tried Vitamin B, Vitamin D, even a light treatment device. I even bought new clothes to boost my mood when the body started spreading. I tried diets to counteract the spread and just yo-yo'd back and forth. Nowhere along the line did anyone actually do a blood test and measure where I am on my hormones. I was left with a whole list of medicines and a bulging closet of skinny and fat clothes!

I knew I was not alone. My friends were experiencing the same thing. Some did better with it, some were suffering in silence. Our joke was -- "Guess how many women it takes to complete a sentence?" We'd laugh because the answer depended on how many menopausal women were in the crowd. Words always escaped us.

I've always been a crier. It runs in the Malone family. I was told that even my grandfather wept easily. For me, the tears have always followed the saying...when it rains it pours. But lately, the tears came way too easily for me. The depression medicine helped some but lately even if someone looked at me wrong, I was prone to crying jags. Everything was personal. I can now look back and see that my reaction to jobs, boards, bosses were overly exaggerated. Instead of "cowgirling it up," I just lost my confidence. I was way too worried about what people thought instead of telling them to take a flying leap when they crossed the lines with me.

My friendships were suffering....I was hiding at home feeling like I didn't want to go out or make the effort. And my poor husband was left wondering what he was in for the rest of his life.

Despite the knowledge that my friends were rowing alongside me in the boat, I was sinking lower and lower. My work was suffering -- I couldn't remember anything and I was missing meetings. It was getting more and more embarrassing.

So what was a girl to do? Some of my friends decided to do au natural and just deal with it. Some tried a compounding specialist in town who provided hormone creams.  I tried the synthetic route with the pills. Sure, they stopped the hot flashes but my memory....who are you again? I was so scared that I actually sought out Long Term Life Insurance thinking I was suffering from Early Onset Dementia. By the way, I got turned down. The reasons? They read my Ob Gyn's chart...memory loss, fatigue, headaches. Amazing!

Fate or Divine Intervention has always played a big part in my life. I prefer to think Divine Intervention. I can't even begin to explain the chain of events that caused us to forgo our trip to Victor on Tom's February birthday but instead we went on a cross country ski trip with some friends. It was there, as I was lamenting my issues with the group of women, that one woman told me about a new hormone treatment she was trying. It's called Bio TE and she claimed it made her feel like a new woman. Her memory, energy level and libido were back in full force. Me? I'd just be thrilled with my memory. Everything else would be icing on the cake.

I did the research and found a doctor in Denver who was licensed to use BIO TE and concentrated solely on women's wellness -- Dr. Hope Engsberg at Age Well MD. Dr. Engsberg actually did a series of blood tests which showed I was in the sub-basement of hormone levels. Duh! Even my thyroid was lacking in vitality. Working with a compounding specialist, they came up with three hormone pellets, that once inserted into my butt check, promised to bring deliverance.

It has been a month since my first treatment. I can tell you that while I'm not in the penthouse, I am at least on the first or second floor of the building. My energy level has improved, I am working out again and I can remember things much easier. It doesn't take other people to finish my sentences, and I'm proud to say most of the time I can remember where I placed my phone and keys.

The reason why I'm writing this post is to not overtly display the more personal parts of my life to the public, but to encourage other women to take the necessary steps to save their minds, their talents and their confidence in their later years. Be more astute than I was. Don't let doctors just treat the symptoms. Start looking at the systemic issues. Why do you NOW need depression medicine, concentration drugs and energy supplements? And doctors, hello! Wake up!! Don't just treat the symptoms. We're women, we NEED hormones unless you just want us to slog along in life.

I'm looking forward to the rest of this year as my doc evaluates and re-evaluates my levels. Perhaps one day I'll be living in the penthouse. That would be great but I just want to believe that when I reach 60 in a few years, it truly is the new 40.

Stay tuned. It will take a while to walk up the stairs to my new life. I will be truthful with you about the effects and the results. And for heavens sake, if you are experiencing any of this, do the research yourself and take some action.

The Power Of Curiosity

My son Eric has several friends at our house in Victor for the weekend. Usually I just go about my business, chatting superficially with them, making dinner, doing my own thing. The son of one of our friends stayed behind today to work and I was curious why a 20 something guy would turn down a day of Spring skiing to work...he said he was doing a couple of podcasts. I'm thinking....watching podcasts? He said no, actually making them. He's interviewing renowned time-efficiency gurus for his company Asian Efficiency. Turns out he's a tech guru for them. They are working on teaching people how to initiate rituals (the new word for habits)  at this moment. I tuned in to Asian Efficiency on the web immediately and sure enough there he is on the website. I signed up. I wanted to sneak downstairs and listen to him interview his guests but that's probably creepy. I'm blown away...here's someone pretty cool in my home and if I hadn't been curious, look what I would have missed.

The art of small talk is a dying art but today, more than ever, I know the power of asking questions. What do you do? Why do you do it? Where are you from? Why did you move here? What is your passion in life? How did you get into your work?

Just think how rich we could be if we all took time out of our self absorption to make small talk. Be curious, learn and enjoy what is in front of us.

These poor guys...they are going to be questioned out by the end of the weekend. Will they come back next year after the crazy red head has turned their weekend into a jeopardy game. I hope so...they are pretty darn cool.